Guest Blogger: I Am No Longer Obsessed With Curls
Stacy writes:
I saw your post Kinks, Curls, Coils…It’s All Beautiful!!. It made me think about my own story and how far I’ve come. I wanted to share with your other readers.
I went natural last year to have healthy hair and to liberate myself. Then I got caught up in the curl obsessing. I spent so much money on all of the products that claimed to define your curls. None of them worked for me like I thought they should. None of them gave me loose defined curls like I wanted. I just kept spending.
I tried all of the Miss Jessie’s products. They didn’t do anything for me except empty my wallet and give me build up. I tried all of the gels. They still didn’t make my hair look like the girls in the Youtube videos. They didn’t give me that look I was looking for.
One day it hit me. I am watching videos of all of these women who have looser curls and expecting the same results. There was nothing wrong with my hair. It just wasn;t the same as their hair. I’ve been beating myself up and spending money for no reason. I decided to find some videos featuring ladies who had a texture closer to mine. I decided to stop obsessing over this curly look. It works for some people, but not for me. That isn’t why I went natural.
I wish I would have come to that conclusion a year and hundreds of dollars earlier. I am sharing my story to try to help other women who may have the same experience. I also want to thank all of the natural hair veterans who have helped me to accept the new me.
Thanks for sharing your story, Stacy. If any of you would like to be a Guest Blogger, please send submissions to me at naturalbyl@gmail.com.
love ya Sis!
Thank you so much for this article. You opened my eyes, I love being natural and I from this point on curl or not I am accepting my hair for what it is and that’s Beautiful hair!
Thanks for this article…this morning, I stood in the mirror trying to decide which Curl definer I wanted to use. Your article makes a lot of sense. I went natural about a year ago. I do color my natural hair, but I am going to use up the curl defining products I purchased and then abandon the curl defining. I have combination hair–curly in some spots, straight in others and no one product seems to do the trick. Also, i think that a lot of the so-called natural hair care products are overpriced, especially Mixed Chicks and Miss Jessies products.
I have recently just come to the realization that black hair does what IT wants to do, just make sure you wash, condition, and keep it moisturized. I am looking more into learning how to style it myself, or keep it in braided and twisted styles because it is so very versatile. Also. even if we don’t have loose hanging curls, black hair is still naturally curly, coily; but I disagree with nappy. Nappy has always had a negative connotation behind, even in the days of slavery, so I prefer to just be natural and happy about my 1 1/2 year transformation out of European ideals of beauty. Love yourself first!
I hope you don’t mind me asking. What is your hair type?
Gr8 story!
I was natural @ 20 yrs ago and I fondly recall those days of the BAA. So now I am natural again but I’ve discovered that my hair has more of a curl pattern than I remember!!! I’ve grown my hair out for a year now which is good but when I do twists they don’t last more than @ 2 days, my braids keep coming loose, and I’m growing my hair but I just don’t know how to keep a style. So I mostly do box braids and braid outs but I want to get to a salon and get some tips on how to work with my hair because it is starting to frustrate me…We’ve spent so much time wearing strai… hair that we don’t really know how to work with natural hair, no matter what the curl pattern. It is a true learning experience.
Amen. Love it.
Comments from FB:
D.M.- Great article…to me, if people are obsessing over curl patterns, it just like being on that crack…manipulating the hair to do something it just does NOT do! Not that serious for me. Give me thick and healthy over curl patterns ANY day! Love, peace and naps!
J.T.-
I really appreciate this article! I’ve been natural for about 3 months, and it does really seem like curl emphasis is made really important. I too saw people on Youtube using gels & other products to enhance their curls. My hair doesn’t curl like that. some places it does & some it doesnt. lol. I’m learning to focus on health, because that’s why I stopped relaxing in the first place. All in all, I’m so happy that this article was written. Thanks!
T.T.- love the article
Thanks so much for posting this. I have to admit that I have gotten into the curl obsession too. I’ve stopped watching YouTube and reading a lot of blogs because there is so much focus on “popping your curls”. I don’t mind some talk about that, but it seems like it’s the main focus. I appreciate the balance you give here. This was very inspirational to me.
Thank you for your story.
Comments from FB:
T.M.- Thanks for sharing this article. No offense intended, but I get tired of hearing/reading about ‘curl patterns’. My hair is not naturally curly; what a refreshing piece.
L.R.- We all are naturally unique. Great article.
F.S.- This is a need to read article for those interested in going natural, and when doing so become obsessed with having curls. I was also a victim of this. Thanks for posting.
first visit to your blog
had great time reading your posts including this guest post
What a wonderful story. I can totally relate. No product gives me curls. I no longer worry about it. Right now the health of my hair is of paramount importance after years of not being concerned about it.
Great story I was feeling the same way. Then I started to think how there seems to be a line of separation in the natural hair community. Curly hair seems celebrated. But I asked since when has black hair been synonymous with curly hair. The message of going natural should be re evaluated.
Yes!!!What a victory for what I am felling right now. I really just came to that resolution today when I took out my zillion twist and realized the beauty in me with my tight, thick and beautiful natural zest! Thanks for your post!
Wonderful story. I wish you the best on your journey. I’m glad You’re happy with your texture and came to grips that none of our is the same and certain products just don’t work. Have a healthy hair journey.
Comment from Facebook:
Roberta- This is a good story because I think some of us fail to see that all hair is different..no two textures are ever really the same, just similar. Thanks for sharing!
I feel the same way, getting caught up in other peoples hair is crazy but I think we do that because we dont know our own hair textures. Black people really dont deal with there own hair texture because at a young age we are hot combed or permed, so falling in that curly hair trap is easy but eventually when you “see” your own hair you will snap out of it and start loving “your” natural!
Thanks for this article! It is an encouragement because I have started feeling the same way.